I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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