i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
