we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There r osticjed everywhere
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
