Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
