he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
