Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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