i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize