don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
