Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm just crazy horny about you
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
