Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
