He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
