And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
