So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
