hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
