Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can't turn off my feet"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
