Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
