We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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