Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
