Porn is love you can see.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
