we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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