A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize