now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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