I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
