i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize