Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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