Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
