I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
