she looked like the bat from fern gully.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
