So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
