he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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