U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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