I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
