I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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