now i know why i became what i already was.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
