your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
