your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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