if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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