What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
