I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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