So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
