you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
