she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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