Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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