just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
