There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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