so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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