His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
