OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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