meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She has the best kind of daddy issues
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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