CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
