some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
