dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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