yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
