best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i drank out of a bidet.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
