just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
her vagine was all disorganized.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize