New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
