I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish you could order shots online.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
