i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
