He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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