if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
